#27 February 2013
exactly 2 days till my birthday ..
lets just say , this 16 year-old not so kid anymore ... is writing for the last time at the age of 16 . I'll be 17 when you hear from me soon ,IF I'm still alive ..
At this age ,
I'm barely breathing the air of happiness .
All I'm feeling is no where near happiness ..
I may look happy ,
cause I'm not going to show all my sadness , sorrow , regrets ..
well ,
smiling and laughing are the two best make-up a girl can wear .
Its true ..
I could just be a loner to attract attention,
but I didn't .
At least , my friends would be happy looking at me smiling..
At least , I'm happy when I'm with them..
I don't trust anyone at the moment ..
Those back stabbers,
those old women that say nothing but lies ..
Why can't you people just let me just be there ,
being invisible ..
why must you force me where my heart does not belong ,
does that suffer of mine make you happy ?
Haven't I sacrifice enough ?
I just wanna be happy ,
I know you wouldn't care ,
but its tiring , having to sleep with these tears .
and wipe off these tears , when I woke up .
Practice that same old smile of mine , so it looks convincing ..
Having to hold on ,
when I know there is no where to hold onto..
Having to smile ,
when it hurts..
Wanting to be happy ,
but end up crying ..
sincerely ,
soon-to-be-seventeen-writer
